Dear Blank Please Blank: Part I

For those of you that have yet to discover Dear Blank Please Blank you have been missing out. Here are some of my favorites

Dear "I'm not drunk!",

You threw a sock at a midget and screamed "Dobby be free!"

Sincerely, yes, you are.

Dear Spongebob,

You live in Bikini Bottom and you're super absorbant?

Sincerely, you're a tampon.

Dear airport security,

My body is a weapon. What now?

Sincerely, Chuck Norris

Dear girls on facebook,

I thought it was "1-2-3 SMILE" not "1-2-3 DUCK FACE!"

Sincerely, anonymous

Dear people going to work,

Please stop staring as I bike past you with my unicorn helmet. Safety doesn't have to be boring.

Sincerely, 25 year old secretary

Dear Edward,

This is why you were in Hufflepuff.

Sincerely, The Sorting Hat

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

Please note that when the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.

Sincerely, J. K. Rowling

Dear Cat,

Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of Life' plays.

Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast

Dear Rubik's Cube,


Sincerely, Colorblind

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